Honey Badger…

This girl will not give up.  She texts me every day now asking when she can see me, or if I want to see her, or if I miss her.  I finally texted her back and asked her why she was so interested if she has a boyfriend.  She then proceeds to tell me that he isnt making her very happy right now…. So, of course, I ask her if she thinks I will make her happy.  She replies that she cannot stop thinking about me and tells me how she HAS to see me one more time and how much she misses me.  WTF??  Really??  I dont get it.  This chick is crazy.  We went on three dates!!!  If I were to have sex with this girl I am fairly certain that before the sex was over I would be married.  She is cute too!!!  So, naturally some part of me thinks she is appealing. 

Why are cute girls so damn dumb sometimes!!!!????

My Friends Rock!!

I never understood how people could just be happy being single.  I know now.  When you have great friends you get all the affection and love that you need from them.   I am simply at my happiest right now when I am sitting at a Mexican restaurant having margaritas after volleyball with my friends.  They are awesome and I hope they know how awesome I think they are….

Jeez, My Love Life Is Confusing…

My love life is confusing… and I think I bring it on myself.  I simply dont know what to do or what I want.  I am 100% happy being single and I love the freedom that being single offers.  But, I do miss giving a crap about someone.  The one person that came into my life that presented a future to me is the most confusing person of all.  I dont know what to do with her.  She is awesome but I just cannot get past her past.  I feel like I am driving her crazy, and I probably am.  I need to make a decision.  Like now….

Wow…

This weekend was awesome in so many ways but, excruciatingly painful in others.  I dont have it in me to write about it at the moment being as I went out last night, got absolutely hammered and then woke up this morning and played volleyball with Drew all day (16-0 today against some pretty good teams).  But believe me when I say that there were some pretty good things that happened and one really bad thing that happened…. So, right now I am just trying to soak it all in and figure it out….

So Tired…

Ok… I meet tons of girls.  Like seriously… Tons.  Most think I am an asshole before they get to know me and then, once they get to know me, tell me that I am nothing like they thought I would be.  People… My assholeishness is an act.  It is an act that I put on to make sure that people really want to get to know me and are willing to accept me with my good and bad.  But, anyway… Back to the girls.  Girls are readily available to me and I genuinely like girls.  The only thing is… I am soo tired of meeting the wrong girls.  I meet; girls who arent over their exes.  Girls who are under one of my friends.  Girls who have just come out of a marriage.  Girls who are married and need me for sex.  Girls who have past issues that are prohibitive.  Girls who think they need someone like me and then realize that it is tougher than they think.  Girls who cant handle honesty.  Girls who want me to be an instantaneous boyfriend.  And… the worst… Girls who are mentally just weird.  

I have some great chicks in my life right now.  I just hope one of them could turn out to the be right one…

Stupidity Personified And Her Name Is…

Honey Badger…. Wow, the depths of how screwed up this girl is cannot be quantified. 

So, I am sitting in my room tonight, being pretty excited that I am laying in my bed before 4 AM, when I get a phone call from a number I dont recognize.  I pick up the phone because I thought it might be work related.  Ummm, it wasn’t.  It was HB.  I said  “Who is this?”  she said “Oh, now you dont even know my voice anymore?”  I said “Apparently not.”  She said “It’s Honey Badger” I said “Ummm, Hi?”  She said “Why havent you called or texted me back?”  I said “Because I dont have any interest in you.”  She said “We need to talk”  I said “Ok, talk”….  She tells me that she really misses me and that she was sorry for being all stressed out when we knew eachother and that I was the one person that she was truly happy around.  I ask her why, if she was happy, did she act all stressy and high maintenance (and I wanted to ask her if she learned how to use chopsticks yet also, but I didnt).  She said because she was scared of the feelings that she had for me and that I was absolutely perfect for her.  I told her, well I think you are really cute, but my main concern was the fact that you mis read me when you thought I wanted you only for sex and that I am a fixer by nature so if you present me with a problem I am going to try and fix it and you presented me with a plethora of problems, enough so that I didnt even know where to start.  She then proceeded to tell me that she is sorry and that I have to not try to fix everything because that isnt what she needs from me.  About this time I start thinking to myself, wow, maybe she is half normal and I should maybe ask her on a date because she is complete arm candy and I like that every now and again.  So, I ask her why she called and what she wanted.  She then proceeds to tell me that she just wanted to hear my voice one last time and that she has a boyfriend and for me to never contact her again…. So I hung up on her.  Got out of my bed.  Turned off the light.  Turned on the computer.  And wrote this.  Now I am sitting here wondering how damn crazy is this chick and how the hell is it that she has found someone but yet here I am sleeping alone!!!  (I hate sleeping alone BTW)… Seriously, this is getting stupid…

Confucius Say Mike is Confused

Good god I am confused!!!  Too many things going on in my life right now.  Too many issues with women.  One girl that I am love with.  One girl that I like.  One girl that caused drama.  Now everything is alright.  (jesus, this sounds like a Dr. Suess book). 

Girl that I love- Cant be with because of circumstances out of our control

Girl that I like- Dont want to be with because of timing

Girl that caused drama- All good now after a late night IHOP talk over pancakes and a Smokehouse Combo 

Calgon!!!  Take me away!!!!

I Came To A Realization!!!

This doesnt apply to every girl in my life but it occurs more than it should…

I just realized that I dont notice most girls until a group of my guy friends notice them or I hear people talking about how hot they are.  Once this occurs, I then go on fact finding missions about the girl to see if she is single and what her story is.  Once I find out about her then I talk to her and make her feel special.  Once I make her feel special then I go on a couple of dates with her and act like I like her.  Once I act like I like her then she starts to like me.  Once she likes me then I proceed to pick her apart and then I dont like her anymore. 

Reality struck me… I only dated her because everyone else thought she was hot and I wanted to prove a point.   God, I am stupid…

Marital Bliss

This will be written really poorly because I am just going to write what comes to me.  Please try to follow along…

Two years ago today I got married.  It was a really great wedding.  Everyone who attended commented that it was one of the best weddings that they have ever been to.  I mean, the food was amazing.  The flowers were absolutely beautiful.  The venue was outstanding.  Weather was perfect.  I even think I saw a dove fly by as we were standing underneath the flower laden archway professing our undying love for one another.  One problem… I dont think either of us wanted to be there…. I look back on that day and I cannot imagine why I went through with it. 

Let’s just get some things out of the way.  My ex wife is not a bad person.   She is just a really bad person for me.  Our relationship was so bad, in so many ways, that it is unfathomable to me as to how we ever ended up getting married.  We fought about everything.  We were mean to eachother.  We had different views on sex.  We didnt even really enjoy eachothers company.  I had an affair with a married client of mine.  I think that she cheated on me also, but have never asked.   We bought a dog together and he made it bearable for us to be around eachother but then we fought about how to train him.   It was bad…

It is amazing that when I look back on our 3 years together (we were only married for a year), I cannot really remember ever being happy.  I cant remember the day I proposed to her.  I cant remember any really great vacations.  I cant remember just laying in bed and talking for hours.  And, worst of all, the only thing I remember about our wedding is me being mean to her and making her cry.  I do remember constantly trying to make her be something she wasnt.  I remember being mean to her and her being mean to me.  I remember having major fights but I dont remember what we fought about.   I remember wondering why I was with her when I didnt even really like her (she didnt like me either).  I remember feeling the need to impress her all the time.   The need to impress her was the worst thing because it made me feel like nothing was good enough and I lied to her.  Those of you that know me now know that I dont lie.  I call it how I see it and I am brutally honest.  With her, I wasnt.  With her, I was a bad person.   I wasnt just a bad person… I was horrible.  That makes me sad….   I was such a bad boyfriend that I think maybe I got married so I could redeem myself as a great husband.  I failed miserably at that….

So, in closing… What the hell was I thinking?  I married someone that I knew would never make me happy.  I have grown so much in the past 2 years that I am content for the first time in what I am and where I am.  I am generally happy in my life and content with every facet.  I am comfortable with being single but I would love to meet someone that I think is amazing.   Amazing people are hard to come by.  One girl came into my life and she was amazing, except that there are some circumstances that I dont know that we will ever be able to get past.  I want to miss someone.  I want to be excited to see someone.  I want to look forward to planned vacations and be amazed when we plan a spontaneous trip that works out perfectly.  I want to be so attracted to someone that the mere smell of them makes my heartbeat change.  I want someone with perfect brown hair that I get to run my fingers through as she sleeps on my chest.  I want beautfiul brown eyes that sparkle when I make her laugh.  I want an athlete, because only an athlete can understand an athlete.  I want someone that is open minded but has her own opinions.  I want someone that is passionate about life.  I want to curl up for an afternoon nap and not care about anything else in the world.   I want a first kiss that will last a lifetime….  Does this person exist???

Will Bleach Make Me Blind???

I would rather spend an entire night attempting to turn my eyes a lighter color by using bleach then to be around a boring girl.  Boring girls should all be gathered up and shipped to an island somewhere of f the coast of Madagascar.  Better yet, just gather them, put them on a boat and dump them in the ocean.  Maybe having to fight for survival will bring out some redeemable personality characteristics.  The worst thing in the world is sitting across from someone at dinner and realizing that you just have nothing to say to this person because they are boring.  You ask them questions that are true “lead-in” questions and you get lame responses.  I will give you an example…. 

This conversation actually happened at a very upscale restaurant on a Saturday evening around 9 pm… (me to boring girl once we are seated at the table) “What do you normally drink ?”  (boring girl response) “Water.”  (me to boring girl) “Really?”  (boring girl to me) “Well, I don’t really like the taste of alcohol.”  (me to boring girl) “What kind of alcohol have you drank?” (boring girl to me) “Well, I dont like beer?”  (me to boring girl) “Ummm, you do realize that there are oher things to drink beside beer?”  (boring girl to me) “Yeah, but I have just never really tried it.”  (me to boring girl)  ”Well, do you want me to order you a drink that you might like?”  (boring girl to me) “No, I will just have water.”  (me to boring girl)  ”Ummm, ok.”   (insert 52 seconds of silence)  (me to boring girl)  “So, are you close to your family?”  (boring girl response)  “Yeah, they are great.”   (awkward silence while I wait for some kind of explanation as to why her family is great…. *sigh*…. ok, none)  (me to boring girl) ”Where did you grow up?”  (boring girl to me) “Houston”

Seriously??  Give me a bottle of bleach, an eyedropper and a Grey Goose/tonic…. Let’s see if I look pretty with blue eyes….